You know, sometimes we come across things that justify other things. The website of the group you are about to read about is *exactly* why Hamsexy exists.Today, we will be shedding light on N.E.A.R. – the “National Emergency Assistance Radio Team” (Shouldn’t that be N.E.A.R.T.?)
Boy oh boy. Where to start. Their logo is a bad rip-off of the REACT logo, and whoever designed their logo (and designed their website… and whoever writes messages on behalf of the group) has the English skills of a recent immigrant three year old retard with no arms. But I digress…..
Their website is pure comedic gold. It’s so bad I had a really hard time believing that it’s true. But… sadly… it seems to be. If retards like these are what is on the front lines of homeland security, we’re all doomed. Check out this gem from their EOC page… some sort of generic terror alert obviously written by someone’s young child:
The United State Home Land Security Has Issue a Threat Alert For The EastCoast of the United State A Threat Alert for the East Cost Of The U.SThat Inclueds New York Washtion DC The Threat Level has gon from Yellow Alert To a Ornge Alert Please be avised that Check points have ben setup in Bouth of these City and there Will be Street Near The White House and The Captel which will be closed allso Down Town New York Car are Being not aloud in the Wall Street The Public is being ask not to go in to The Wall Street becose of the Havey Security
The leader of this group (who calls himself the “Supreme Commander”) seems to be the one with the superior english skills. He’s posted a few times advertising this group, which can be found here and here. They also offer advice on how to start your very own CERT team.
The group (and the site) appears to have been dormant for some time, but when you read the press release announcing the formation of the group, it’s easy to understand why. Would you put your life in the hands of someone who specializes in “surch & rescut”?
I had to drop them the following note to their “emergency” e-mail address…..
“After seeing your website, the only emergency I see here is your need to use spell check in expeditious manner. “
Oh my, this just about takes the cake. What baffles me is these morons are so stupid that I wonder who the hell connected a radio for them. They obviously cannot read/write….I don’t think they could spell their own callsign!
If this is community service, it is no wonder why public safety keeps this representative sample of our community out of the way.
Anybody else notice that the web site was hosted by a free hosting company? That just screams “LOSER!” I couldn’t read much of it, the grammar and spelling was so very bad it made my eyes bleed.
Wow. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen anyone use a Japanese to English Babelfish translation on a website!! At least, that would kinda explain what’s going on. Then again…
Jesus Christ! F7 people, the odd spelling mistake can be forgiven. But this was an insult to the english language. (I will assume that was English) Are Missouri schools that bad?
I can’t wait to see what their turnout gear and vehicle outfitting look like…
My ittle brthor cold tipe a lettar betar tan teh culd
Really, how can you spell THAT bad.
In order to sleep at night, I will pretend that the site is not real.
The saddest part of this little story is that these guys most likely take themselves this seriously. Someone should tell them about the FEMA training requirements just so we all can watch their heads explode when they realize they can’t do a tenth of the stuff they claim to be doing. But they would likely just respond with something like ” Huh? Wha? ”
Oh well guys like this make it easy to feel good about yourself…
They are looking for a “Saftey Officer”. If I had any experience in the saftey field, I would apply.
And whatever gives you the idea that experience is any kind of requirement? 😛
Maybe this is Al Qaeda’s latest attempt to infiltrate our society….. Attack through the agencies that are charged with rendering assistance…. Unfortunatley, their efforts were turned asunder when their less-than-superior English skills exposed them… D’oh… go back to English school, Haji!
Has anyone notified REACT Int’l about these people ripping off their logo? I bet REACT’s lawyers would be interested in getting a cease and desist order if the REACT logo is trademarked. I don’t know about you, but when I see the logo above with the hand holding the mike, I think “REACT.” I’m sure REACT would just love being affiliated with these people who apparently have a 3rd grade reading level.
I just threw up on my keyboard…
Pitiful
“Floyd .O. Bucom Duptey Commaner”
What’s a Duptey Commaner?
I’ll notify REACT if no one else does.
All we need now are photos of their vehicles. Anyone else see the picture of the Duptey Commaner? Quite the babe magnet.
bwaaahahaha
Has anyone signed the Guist Book yet?
Have you followed the Frequency link?
Arghh, the site includes popup spam!
What the hell is a dreciter?
(Charles Ryan III Board of Dreciter Member &Training Officer)
Is this what comes out of the American School System?
Does CERT mean Call the Emergency Redneck Team?
So many questions.
I am not sure I wish to join the
National Emergency Assistance Radio Team or the
Emergency Response Team listed below it on the logo.
Should I, shoudn’t I, what a conundrum.
Somebody help me decide, please.
Go for it. Their other 6 members need a real radio operator.
Good God man!
Threw – through
Chane – chain
Lunch – launch
Surch – search
Recue – rescue
Headquters – headquarters
BTW……
Don’t forget to sign their “GUIST BOOK”
Also We Moniter On CB Channel 9 And Moniter At
The Same Time On CB Channel 13 Call Letters That Be Call
KBQ-6468 NEAR TEAM Our Organization Members Have Had
Training (CERT)
Anyone thinking big beam and illegal amp? Maybe we can say hi to the sorry losers.
10$ says he failed the 2nd grade till he was 18 and flunked out.
Did any of you guys notice that it’s not a ham radio website? All actual comments relating to when/where they conduct radio activities has referred to GMRS/MURS. Yeah, there’s a callsign listed – for a guy whose name is spelled incorrectly.
Thankfully, these guys are not, in any real sense, part of the ham radio service.
If you sign their geuispht book you get to see the other entries, such as this one: (White Squirrel CB Club???)
This is a place for CB’er’s to post messages to other CB’er’s; locally or internationally and for The buying and selling of all types of radio equipment! Join up and spread the news !!! All CBers Are Invited To Join The White Squirrel Citizen Band Radio Club. Located In Olney ILLINOIS. They Call Me The Nasville Rebel,
Even the logo is redundant……
After I told this guy his spelling sucks
From: Lige Turner Commander NEARTEAM,Inc.
Sir I Think You Need To Check Your Fax Out
Before You Shoot You Mouth Off This Organization
( 1 )Is License By The United State Federal
Communication Commission ( FCC )( 2 )This
Organization Has Recive Certificate From The
United State Federal Emergency Management
Agency ( FEMA )And The Emergency Management
Institute ( EMI ) We Are Not A Joke The Organization
You Need To Find Out Information Before You Send
Letters Or This Information Will Be Turn Over To The
United State FBI For Being A Ubsine Letters So Do
Not Send Us Any More Letters Or You Will Go To Jail
I just had to sign up to comment about this… WOW what a bunch of Crack Heads!!!
Now this is getting even funnier with his threats to have people jailed over sending him email!
I bet their Command vehicle is a very short school bus.
Clearly they are retarded. I found it funny that before February 12, they had only a hand full of entries in their “Guist Book”
I am trying hard to resist the incredble urge to take the letter that was sent to N0RHM, correct all the spelling and grammatical errors in a red font, and send it back with a comment “3/10, must try harder”
And that is a lesson for us all, don’t go sending and more “Ubsine Letters”.
I’m impressed really. Is this the first example of a website written entirely in Redneck Dialect?
Before You Send
Letters Or This Information Will Be Turn Over To The
United State FBI For Being A Ubsine Letters So Do
Not Send Us Any More Letters Or You Will Go To Jail
Go right ahead, the FBI won’t be able to read his drivel either!
Wow, but you seem to have missed the best part… check out the contact page, he never changed the info from the template!
http://www.nearteamheadquters.8m.net/contact.html
Here is one gem:
“Remember: it’s important to regularly change the content on your site and make updates to the information that you display. Doing this will help you to get more return visitors.”
http://www.vanhorn.org/1969/biopage.asp?ID=4427
Where is their email, I’ll make a spoof email and correct his spelling like said above.
Check out the “Thank you letter” page… We would Like to Thank Those Person Who May Have Miss We Wount To Thank You For all Equtpment and Money that you have Give To The Team We Would Like To Thank for his Advice
Oh, and the spelling of Wal Mart… Wall Mart Store
Haha, check out the “About Me Page”, no spelling errors there, so obviously the Supreme Commander has not got his pudgy fingers on there!
OMG, ROTFLMFAO!
And if REACT doesn’t think these idiots are worth worrying about (which would be perfectly understandable) … they should check out the “photo page” (http://www.nearteamheadquters.8m.net/photo.html)
As of now, that page informs the world that “The National Emergency Assistance Radio Team NEAR TEAM & Radio Emergency Associated Communication Team REACT As Jont Force and Have Better Coordinate in Emergency And Dearclear Disaster Our Two Organization Will Soon Become (NEAR TEAM-REACT,Inc.)”
There’s a defamation suit waiting to happen …