Friday, July 15th 2004
Update by: Clyde McPhail

Sorry for the delay folks - but here's part 2 of our hamsexy look at William Crowell N6AYJ!!!

To my dismay, we've heard nothing from him. We have, however, gotten a lot of response from our readers. Some know this guy and are glad we've taken the time to talk about him, others are anoyed that we are picking on him. Well, I'm sorry - this site is what it is....

So alright ,ehoughabout that. Let's take a look at his letter, shall we? (To refresh yourself, read the letter here (if you can)). In this letter, written to W. Riley Hollingsworth of the FCC Enforcement division, he makes some interesting and somewhat startelling revalations. F'rinstance:

OUTRAGEOUS STATMENT #1:
"Here's the thing, Riley:  I'm a trendsetter, and a lot of people listen to my opinions.  Also, my wife and kids tend to be trendsetters, too....The real question is, do you want people like us to be friends or enemies of your agency, and of the federal government? "

I'm sure the collective FCC, from Michael Powell on down, is shaking in their boots. A trendsetter, huh. And a scary one too. What an incredibly pompus thing to say. Someone needs to call the Department of Homeland Security, because that sounds like a threat!

OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT #2:

"Riley, your warning notice was really a dumb move, politically!  It ranks right up there with the time that Bill Clinton had me audited by the IRS after I told him he should resign over his affair with Monica Lewinsky. "

Break out the tin foil hats, people. Delusions that the government is after them because of something they did is a classic sign of Paranoid Schizophrenia. He, himself requested that Bill Clinton resigned, and he sic'ed the IRS on him. Uh huh. Next..

OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT #3:
"Do you know how many people I educated about how to resist the IRS after that?  Do you know how many college students heard the story from my son, and now will probably distrust the government forever as a result?  Is that what you're trying to accomplish here?  Did you know that two California congressmen voted in favor of impeachment, largely because I proved to them that Clinton had me audited in retaliation for urging him to resign?  Doesn't the federal government have enough problems about its credibility with the public without your taking such a stupid action?  So why are you doing things like this, Riley?  In other words, do you want the public to be loyal to the federal government, or not?  You're acting exactly like you are trying to breed disloyal citizens or something!  So knock it off already!"

William Crowley, government buster! Tonight on FOX. What an aboslute loon.

OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT #4:
"Riley, hasn't anybody in your office told you that Billy Crowell is no pushover?  I think you should pull my file and read about my prior encounters with the Commission."

I think the only comments going around the FCC about Billy Crowell, if any, is "hey... that insane fool Billy Crowell wrote in again. it's on the bulletin board.. It's a hoot!"

OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT #5:
"I've tried to pass my Extra exam a couple of times, but I'm one of these old-fashioned people who actually wants to learn all that Extra theory rather than just memorizing the answers from the question pool. "

Justification. The problem is not with him not being smart enough to get his Extra, the problem's in the system. Again, as I said, his entire worldview hinges on him being the absolutley best human being in the universe.

OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT #6:
"I'm not buying your press releases, Riley, and never have, because I can see through them.  What they really amount to is that you're willing to serve as the brown-shirts' lap dog in order to advance your own career.  Reading your own press releases too much is about the equivalent of drinking your own swill, you know.  Riley, why in the world would I let a pipsqueak like you, who seems only to be addicted to nursing at the public's teat, and who probably couldn't even cut it in the private sector as I am doing, take away my license for no reason?"

When he runs out of facts (as questionable as they were), he resorts to childish namecalling. Now now, Billy boy... not behavour becoming a 44 year ham, now is it? "Brownshirts"? Equate the FCC to Naziism... what a great way to get your point across. I must remember than for when I want to get better service at my local eatery.

OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT #7:
"Why in the world would you attack an upstanding citizen like me?  Are you crazy or something, Riley?  And how do you think I am supposed to feel about being attacked and defamed in this manner?  Actually, I think it displays a lack of integrity on your part!  Therefore, your integrity is definitely going to be in issue if you do not drop these proceedings against me."

Refer to the case of Pot vs. Kettle, regarding being called black. He "attacked" you because you broke the rules, Billy. I'd hate to be the cop who pulls this guy over for speeding.

OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT #8:
"I am just not going to let some petty career bureaucrat attempt to gratuitously besmirch my character so he can pad his resume, advance his career, kiss up to the ham radio brownshirts, or so he can issue more press releases! In that regard, please let me add that I am also going to raise the issue of your competence, i.e., the many mistakes that you seem to be rather infamous for making, on the basis that my Warning Notice is merely another of your said infamous mistakes.  Also...I have heard several hams insist vehemently that that there may indeed be some irregularities with your expense account for attending hamfests...   Specifically, I have heard that you spent $5,000.00 of the taxpayers' money in one weekend at the Las Vegas hamfest, and if this allegation proves true, then I just don't see how you can really properly spend that much taxpayer money in one weekend."

...and then we cross the line from the ravings of a lunatic to unmitigated libel. Wow.... There's not much I can say that will put the icing on THAT statement. "How dare he insult me? Here! I'll accuse him of fraud!" This guy's so insane it makes my soul cry. This guy claims to be a lawyer... you'd think he'd know better.

Really, there's more.... but my brain hurts. Feel free to read the letter and get a laugh, if laughing at the mentally ill is what amuses you.

As well, as Mark KB8UFF wrote in the other day to point out, Willie's letter actually was read by someone: Mr. Riley Hollingsworth. Here's the FCC update that Mark sent me:

DIAMOND SPRINGS, CA [UPDATE]: The FCC wrote Advanced licensee William F. Crowell, N6AYJ, on November 28, 2000, following up on an August 21, 2000, Warning Notice issued to Crowell that concerned alleged deliberate interference on 75 meters. Crowell had replied on August 31, 2000, with a lengthy letter to FCC Special Counsel for Amateur Radio Enforcement Riley Hollingsworth. "Your response was not only irrelevant to the issue concerning interference, but frivolous as well," Hollingsworth wrote back. "You are again cautioned that imaginary, make-believe or fictitious conversation with communications in progress constitutes interference and degrades the service for legitimate users." Hollingsworth suggested that Crowell review §97.1 of the FCC rules, which outlines the basis and purpose of the Amateur Service.

I don't know W. Riley Hollingsworth, but he seems like a pretty level-headed guy. Most people I know would retort with with an equally lengthy and rambling letter, but his response says it all. Nice work, Mr. Hollingsworth! You handled the loon quite well.

If anyone has any other stories on this guy, feel free to e-mail me and I'll post it. Until next time, keep fresh folks.

Tuesday, July 13th 2004
Update by: Clyde McPhail

Not too many people are aquatinted with one William F. Crowell N6AYJ. You won't find him on a Wheaties box, heck you won't even find him in any hall of fame or awards show. He is, however, our new HAMSEXY MAN OF THE MONTH.

First of all, you might ask... why William F. Crowell? Why should he deserve to be ranked among the few who this site has chosen to aim it's bright spotlight of truth at? Well, gentle reader - you are about to find out.

OSS, one of our moderators for the Hamsexy Forums, came across a letter that started it all. A letter, written to W. Riley Hollingsworth of the FCC Enforcement bureau, regarding a 'warning notice' sent to him on August 21st, 2000. This letter, my friends.... is long. It's very long. And rambling. I suggest taking a moment to read it, as it offers one and all a glimpse into a very disturbed mind. This, my friend, is the epitome of the hamsexy mental illness - a clinical case of paranoid schizophrenia combined with a very acute sense of enormous self-worth and self-pride.

First of all, before we go into the letter, let's take a look at what the warning was about. A quick search of ARRL's website found the warning:

The FCC wrote Advanced licensee William F. Crowell, N6AYJ, on August 21, 2000, citing monitoring information before the Commission alleging that the licensee may have engaged in deliberate interference to other amateur operations on 75 meters over the last several months. "This interference consists of unsolicited and unwanted comments and responses to the ongoing communications," wrote FCC Special Counsel for Amateur Radio Enforcement Riley Hollingsworth. "Such communications have occurred even though your transmissions were not acknowledged and in some cases even after you were requested to refrain from doing so."

So yeah, just as what was expected. Poor Willie Crowell decided to take it upon himself, in his self-appointed position of SUPERHAM, to provide a running commentary on what he percieved to be 'improper use'. In other words, a lonely old man who felt that it was his duty to tell the world what he thinks, no matter what the rest of mankind might think of his meddling. It's the same mentality that keeps people like this glued to their front windows with binoculars, spying on their neighbours. A busybody, really.

It seems that his entire reason for living is to provide his own running commentary, almost always negative. Here's a comment he wrote on eHam.com, in response to a great article inviting hams to invite their member of congress to their local field day. This is what N6AYJ wrote:

"I think you are somewhat deluded if you think non-hams would find field day interesting. Even as a ham who's been licensed for 44 years, I find it very boring and refuse to participate in it any longer. Hams have a disconcerting habit of thinking the entire world revolves around ham radio, and that other people will find it as interesting as we seem to feel it is. It isn't, and we need to wake up and smell the coffee."

There are a few parts of that comment that are worth noting. First, of all - and most obvious, the line "...as a ham who's been licensed for 44 years." It's the typical mindset that because they've been around the longest, the buck stops at their opinion. He not only has an opinion, he will challenge you to top his 44 years of being a ham. The very nxt message someone chose to challenge Willie, who immedatley shot back with "I am sorry that you are so defensive and in such denial about field day being boring. Unfortunately, no medications are going to help your condition because before you can deal with your problem, you have to be willing to admit you have a problem, and clearly you are too insecure to admit it." What this says is simple: "I'm right, the whole world is wrong. And if you don't agree with me, you've obviously got a mental illness". Call me wrong if you want, but the proof's in the pudding, so to speak.

As well, a ew comments down, he curiously brings up mental illness again to someone who disagrees with him:

"Dave, KZ1X: the indicators of a psychologically sick, insecure "true believer"/dogmatist is that the person cannot deal with the merits of an argument, but must instead seek to discredit, with ad hominem attacks, the person advancing the argument. One of the most common techniques of such a sick mind is to attempt to fit people into preconceived stereotypes, without knowing anything about them. In short, you're abundantly displaying your painful insecurity about dealing with opinions you don't agree with. "True believer"/dogmatists like you think they are confident in their insecure beliefs, but their behavior transparently betrays to the rest of the world their essential insecurity about their opinions. You have no idea whether I fit into your "California fruit-and-nuts" stereotype (I don't), but you advance it anyway, without even realizing how transparent your behavior is. I really feel sorry for you. I hope someday you will gain enough emotional security to be able to benefit from psychotherapy."

You see, he (at least on a subconcious level) knows that he is mentally unwell. To him, the mere concious concept of him being somewhat wrong physically pains him. As a result, the most viscious insult you can toss at someone is to accuse them of being mentally unsound. It's simple psychology, really. This guy isn't too hard of a nut to crack, really.

If you look even further down in the same eHam thread, you'll see that he brings up the letter I mentioned above, and claims that it's insane ramblings are some sort of great victory against Riley "Hollywood" and the FCC. And, again, he refers to his antagonist needing psychological help. What a beautiful, beautiful mind. Like Rain Man with a callsign.

What really strikes me about this guy, is that he claims to be a wizened, enlightened ham of over 40 years (hence the warning issued against him), but he writes like an immature 15 year old, tossing out baseless insults and generalizations, not to mention the specific and deliberate uses of profanity. He thinks he's extremley well-spoken and intelligent, but he comes of like a raving lunatic.

Join us tomorrow for PART 2 - where I will go in-depth into his clasic letter to W. Riley Hollingsworth, FCC Eforcement division. it includes how he's the most dangerous force ever to take on the US Government, and, shows that, for a Lawyer, he doesn't have a firm grip on the definition of the word LIBEL.

Willie.. if you're reading this.. we invite you to write me at [email protected].... I would love the chance to debate you on this or any subject.... just try to keep it under 10,000 words, and please try not to dig up any skeletons from my past. There's that case of the guy I hit with my car and dumped in the river that I would prefer kept under wraps... Thanks man.

Monday, July 12th 2004
Update by: VE3HBD

Yeah - it had to come up sooner or later. Nudist ham radio.

It all started last week with a link posted on QRZ... Someone stumbled across the website for the International Naturist Amateur Radio Organization (INAR), and the website for their radio club, operating under the great callsign NU5DE.

Look - I know the first instinct is to go "haha naked hams", but in our prudish and sexually hung-up society, our first impulse is to say "hahha nude anything". There are nude beaches, nude sporting leagues, nude motorcycle clubs.... why not nude amateur radio operators?

I'm not even going to begin to break the surface of the comedy potential for the idea of nude hams. I mean, the standard practice of this site is to make fun of the hamsexy person, and most of the people we've tossed the spotlight on here would probably be 100x worse without clothing - but you know what... I'm not going to go there. Not because it's way too easy (WAAAAY too easy), but because I respect them. Come on, 95% of the people reading this would be too bashful to bare it all in front of anyone except their significant other (myself included).... I am not a naturlaist myself (anyone who knows me would appreciate that), but I can understand the desire to live in a naturalist society. And those who are brave enough to shun our society's rather myopic view of non-sexual nudity, then more power to them. I'll keep the clothes on, but I'm not going to chuck rocks at those who might choose not to. I've actually got some relatives who are naturalists... I've never seen them naked, but they are very normal people and snappy dressers.

The site's actually very interesting. Unfortunately links to some of their more interesting articles are broken, and the site hasn't been updated since January, but it's a good read. There's a great article that thankfully is still up - Amateur Radio's Nude Frontier by Ben Thornton WD5HLS speaks to nudism and ham radio. Check it out.

So yeah - in the case of nude hams.... We salute you! I'm not saying I'm above snickering like a schoolchild thinking about applying the current hamsexy mould of hamradio to a nudist population, but more power to 'em.

Saturday, July 10th 2004
Update by: Clyde McPhail

I had planned to announce the launch of our new contest today, but we'll not mention it anymore.

One thing we all love about the hamsexy man is that his money's as hard ot get of of him as his smell. Anyone who's had a stall at a hamfest knows this ll too well. Why spend $1 for something when it can be had for 50 cents? Tom, AC9TS submitted this story he found whilst surfing usenet:

I was selling at a hamfest in Pa last month. Had a shoebox full of miniature tubes for $1.00 each. A real bargain considering tubes are going for much more on e-Bay. This putz comes walking up, digs thru the box for 2 minutes and pulls out *one* tube and wants it for 35 cents. I was willing to let it go for 75 cents but he wants it for 35 cents.No deal. He puts it back (tosses it) and gets all smart-ass saying "you'll sell it to me later for 35 Cents."

The schmuck comes back 1/2 hour later digs it out and asks for it for 35 Cents again. I say OK, offer to wrap it, he hands it to me and while he's reachin for his 35 cents, I dropped the tube on the ground and smashed it with my trusty Nike, then told him I changed my mind and wanted $1.00 for it.

This putz goes completely nuts saying he's looked all over 4 hamfests for this tube and he couldn't believe I smashed it. Jumpin up and down like a looney and me quietly hoping he would have a stroke right there as he must have weighed 300 pounds. I just laughed and offered him a pleasant balance of the afternoon.After he left the dealers either side of me were almost teary-eyed laughing at the spectacle of this event, and we each shared a Pepsi from my trusty Coleman cooler and had a nice late-lunch at the pizza hut afterwards.El-Cheapo hams....always too much FUN to pass up the opportunity to poke'em-with-a-stick thru the monkey bars!

Haha. Hilarious. Thanks for submitting that! We invite any other hamfest dealers to write in with their tales of terror from the otherside of the sawhorse. Had a ham try to haggle in a fifteen cent item? How about offer you $15 for that $2000 log periodic you so lovingly brought to the show to sell? Send your 'Seller Horror Stories" to the usual address and I'll post the best ones I get.

I remember once.... I was talking to a buddy of mine at a hamfest a few years ago while he was taking admission at the door. Some ARES dork in full regalia walks in and demands the "First Responder Discount". My friend looked at him, blinked, and asked him again for the $4 adult admission.

Oh no, said Officer Hamsaver - we was told that ARES members shouldn't be paying the same as regular patrons, as they actually did a service for the community. My friend just looked at him and again asked him for the four dollars. Incensed, the ARES guy demanded to be let in, or he'll call the ARES liason at the police station and file a complaint against his club, etc. My friend said "Well, actually... now that you mention it, I think ARES members do get in for free. Have a good day, sir". The ARES nerd harumphed something and let himself past the table.

A few minutes later, my friend's relief showed up at the front table and we both walked out to the parking lot for a smoke. Lo and behold, parked not four spots from the front was a Ford Explorer with lightbar, with our ARES jerk's callsign on the license plates. My friend and I both exchange glances and phoned our town's only wrecker to have this 'illegally parked' vehicle towed. When the driver came, my friend aded the words "ARES PARKING DISCOUNT" at the bottom under his signature. Have a good day, folks... and try not to piss of those in power. It's never worth it.

Friday, July 9th 2004
Update by: VE3HBD

Well, that the quickest end to a contest we've ever put on. Well, the quickest we've NEVER put on.

The 'something kinda cool' thing that Clyde mentioned in yesterday's update - the groundwork for this caused some people to start bitching, so we've decided not to bother.

It all started yesterday, when in addition to publishing Clyde's update, I added a little blurb underneath the black box to the right, soliciting what people perceived to be a coming onslaught of ads. Well, needless to say the shitstorm started, and as a result I've decided not to go forth with our plans after all.

Look - the intention here is not to sell out, as so many pepole were claiming. Here's the real scoop. I had a big announcement planned for tomorrow, but I've decided to scrap it.

We had planned to start the first of what I hoped to be many Hamsexy contests. First off the mark was a name recognition competition, where readers of the site take photos of their creative placings of the hamsexy dot com name - at hamfests, on the back of ham scooters, around their cities, etc. The submissions woudl then be judged by members of the hamsexy forums, and the winner would recieve a prize. I didn't want to give away some bullshit prize like a bumper sticker or a certificate, I wanted a REAL prize to be up for grabs... a radio, an antenna, soemthing cool and worth winning. The only way I could see that, since I can't afford such a nice prize out of my own pocket, was to allow a willing company to sponsor the contest - to provide the prize in exchange for a 2' by 2' "contest sponsored by" ad on the main page. I was looking forward to finally being able to announce something nice and worthwhile to our readers, so obviously I couldn't go soliciting exactly what I wanted on the main site - I wanted to keep it a surprise and reveal it in a funny and cool way as a thank-you to our many supporters and readers. Brad, a reader, wrote in and threatened never to visit the site again if we went through with it. Jafo even started a thread on the forums rallying against it. I guess I should be flattered that people seem to care that much about the site.

it *never* was about making money. Click on the little blue world thing above the site credits.... We average about 180 unique hits a day... you can't make money with low numbers like that.

But, alas- it seems the whole idea of a sponsored contest seems to be hitting too many nerves. It's too bad. Maybe another time.

Thursday, July 8th 2004
Update by: Clyde McPhail

Alright, despite what Bryan might have said, I have *not* vanished. Some have speculated on my exact wherabouts for the past two weeks, and the conclusions come to thus far have been somewhat amusing borderline harassment. Some of the more interesting suggestions have been:

- Jail
- Rehab
- Coma
- Field Day injuries

It was nothing that exciting, I can tell you. I was simply on vacation. Fine? Fine. Now go screw off. I did , incidentally, injure myself during our radio club's field day event, but I was back on my feet in no time.

Anyhow... It seems that things have been slow around here .... I leave for a few weeks and it seems that Bryan can't get off his fat ass to even produce one update. It figures, you know how these Canadians are. Lousy rebels. And July 7th's update was total shit, too. Just plugging your stupid bumper stickers and whining about your wife leaving you. Very professional.

Seriously, though - we've got something kinda cool in the works... I'll announce it on here this weekend. It'll give you all a chance to compete for some fantabulous prizes and a chance to be famous. Stay tuned everyone!!

Wednesday, July 7th 2004
Update by: VE3HBD

Wow - It's been a while since we've done our last update... 'Tis the season for people to get busy. Clyde's fallen off the face of the earth, and Purple Zero's with the wife and kids doing something domestic in a forest somewhere. Me, I'm 5 months away from filing for a divorce from a woman that's moving to England, I work in a job I loathe and I spend my free time trying to leave at least an hour between my dinner and my bedtime. As you can see, it's been a busy few weeks! Where DOES the time go?

Things are pretty slow lately, though - but I'll try to squeeze out a few updates between now and September.

First of all, if you're not on the Hamsexy forums - you're nowhere. It's a thriving and growing community of radio enthusiasts from across the world. You won't get any pretentious idiots, and you won't get endless retarded Democrat/Republican debates like you do on other boards like.. oh, I dunno.. QRZ.com. Visit the forums and join today - it's free and you'll feel a lot better of yourself in the morning.

As well, we've gotten a limited number of Hamsexy bumper stickers! These high quality items are available from me for $5 each. All proceeds go towards getting them printed, and keeping this site on the air.



This is exactly what the stickers will look like. They are printed on high-quality vinyl-like paper, the same type of paper other high-quality bumper stickers are printed on.

If you want one, send me a message through the message board and I'll mail you one. I accept cash and paypal. It's also a friggin' bumper sticker, so I'll pay for the damn stamp to mail it to you.

Hmm... Not much of an update, really. Let's see... any funny message board threads out there? Oh! I know one... Check this one out from Radioreference dot com. It starts out with a simple question regarding system keys for Motorola trunked radio systems, and turns into probably one of the most insane attempts at backpeddaling in the history of the Internet when one of the posters irresponsibly suggests a potentially disasterous way of using a Motorola two-way radio as a scanner on a trunked radio system. It's funny.

Another good article is from QRZ, a comprehensive list of celebrity hams. Some are rather questionable (Jon Bon Jovi?), but still interesting. I believe that Webmaster Seth (N3JFW) worked King Hussein of Jordan once if I remember correctly... he asked him what kind of gun His Majesty carries (typical). I was totally shocked that the most famous ham of all was left off the list. Of course, I'm talking about Sir Mix-A-Lot. You know, the rapper who had the hit "Baby got Back" back in the 90's. Apparantly his interests include more than big-assed hoochies and cutting records. I ran his real name (Anthony Ray) through the ARRL callsign server, and came back with N6IWP. I'm assuming it's him, unless he applied for the license using the name of one of his homies. I dunno.

My anaconda don't want none, unless you've got buns, hun

Anyhow... As always, we accept your submissions to this site. E-mail us at [email protected] and we'll get it online. Thanks!! have a good summer everyone!

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