Tuesday, May 25th 2004
Posted by: Purple Zero
Hey folks.... I'm back. Thanks to Bryan for keeping watch while I was gone.

Gort some MORE photos from Dayton, thanks again to the Batwing Northeast Enforcement Division.


A ham with a badge. Mr. Kilocycle Cop.


It seems that more and more of these 2600 script-kiddie
h4x0r-phr34k00rz wannabee freaks are discovering Ham Radio.
So, 2600 is now an official subspecies of HAMSEXY.
l00000l r0000fl3z!!!!!!1111


Again, with the Vietnam-era radiomen.
I always wanted to be the guy with
the M60, not the guy with the huge
radio on his back. That's like wanting
to be that hippie doctor who refused
to carry his gun and always left it
in the chopper, despite the many
browbeatings he got from Zeke or LT.

C'mon! Move it! They're going to be all out
of those killer tent peg Maratracs!

Ah, beer.

Graeme, who's letter was featured in a previous column, responded to
my less-than-kind words about ENG shooters:

Okay, I'm not going to get in a pissing match over ENG cowboys out there
making us all look bad. I agree with the opinion that one must earn respect
in one's profession when dealing with other professionals. To say that the
news media is there to exploit people is over generalizing.

The guy who crossed the line, snuck past the cops and hopped into the
ambulance to clip the injured girl must be from another planet. He must
have steel balls and a goddamn peanut brain to put his job in jeopardy like
that...because you know when he gets caught and the cuffs are slapped on
him, the news director isn't going to post his bail. Christ, they get
squirrly when you drop a speeding ticket on their desks!

Everything requires perspective: when I'm shooting I keep in mind that while
my job is important to me, the firefighter or EMT who is trying to patch up
some dumb f*ck who rolled his SUV after a few too many drinks at the strip
club has a more herculean, stressful task than getting pretty pictures on
the air. I neither ask for nor expect favours from these people...it's best
when I leave them alone and they leave me alone.

Anyway, like I said, no reason for any of us to get grumpy...I'd have to say
that everyone I work with shares the same opinion as I do.

Granted, I never meant to say that all ENG shooters are idiots (just as to say
that ham radio operators are all wannabe dorks) and yes, there are a good
deal of you guys who do your job without interfereing. But I must say that I
encounter a great deal of cowboy mentality while in the execution of my
duty. As well, you are in Canada... and Bryan one of our webmasters reminded
me that the news media in our two countries are very different. All one has to
do it watch the news from either side of the border to see what that difference is.
Myself and my colleagues could tell you tales about the bonehead things we've
seen news photographers do to get their killer footage. And you wanna know what
the problem is? Their news directors take one look at it and say "BRILLIANT!"
"If it bleeds, it leads" is still a hallmark of your industry, especially so down here
in the US. And, I'm afriad to say, your less-enlightened breatheren will continue to
push the limits further and further until something drastic has to be done. No one
I know has died yet due to interference from those in the media, but from what I've
seen, its only a matter of time.

And.. a new thing we're starting here.. we'll be featuring any new referrers we see through
our tracking thingie in a new column on the sidebar. This time its the referrers at
Lancaster Fire dot com - thanks guys!

Monday, May 24th 2004
Posted by: Webmaster Bryan
Thanks to Gary for these photos from the 2003 CFMC (Chicago FM Club) Radio Expo:

Once again, the fine line between good reception and looking
like a total freak doesn't only gets crossed, it dates your mother
and tells you what a total skank she was.



A real turd, you say? Well, that explains the smell.



Ah yes, nothing goes together better than ham radios and porno.

Gary also sent us this:

I think the Skywarn guys are as much of a nuisance as
the ARES guys.... Here is a Skywarn "promotional" Poster we like..



hehehe. We'll have more on the Skywarn/Canwarn phenom in a later update.
In the meantime, if you have anything you want put on the site, feel free to
send it to us at [email protected] - especially any Sky/Canwarn
stories. Thanks, y'all

Saturday, May 222nd 2004
Posted by: Webmaster Bryan

Its Bryan again folks..... I've got the watch here in the Hamsexy hamshack of solitude, so here's some more photos for you all.

These first three are from the Iowa hamfest...


A whole new, unexplored realm - SKYWARN




Your absolute last line of defense....

These next photos and story is submited by Mark (KB8UFF) from Muskegon, Michigan.





We (Muskegon County Amateur Radio Emergency Service) had just finished up docking the ships at a Tall Ships Challenge in our port city.  The sky was blue, it was 70 degrees and no clouds were in sight.  We were just about to start enjoying refreshments that were supplied to the volunteers when one of our operators contacted us through one of our 2 meter repeaters and told us that there was a mini-cell headed our way with 50-60 mile per hour gusts and we should get the ships lashed down. 

When we told the coordinator, he could not believe that we were minutes from chaos.  He also asked why nobody from the brand new TV 13 Storm Chaser crew with their $250,000 storm truck knew anything about it.  Feeling that was a fair question, we went over to the unit and posed the question.  The answer was that the truck was so new that not all the equipment had been fired up.  All they has was Internet radar like us.  We were invited inside the truck to take a look.  Lo, their laptop verified our information. 

I was only inside for 10 minutes or so when someone started pounding on the door from outside.  The above pictures were taken from the inside of the storm truck looking out to the docks.  In the lower picture you can see Barney KC8LLN.  He was the one knocking on the door.  The Porta-John I shot was one of seven that blew over that day.  The volunteer party was cancelled and everyone was sent home.  All the people weren't out of the area and the sky was turning blue again.  I understand that to be a 'Michigan' thing.
 
You are probably wondering if there was anyone inside the Porta-John. 
 
We have wondered that from time to time as well.

And also from Mark....

Wow!
 
Only a month old?
 
You guys sure got popular (unpopular) quick!
 
If you guys hang in there Hamsexy may become a permanent ham icon!  I can already see the word Hamsexy working it's way into the ham operators lexicon.
 
hamsexy adj.  i-er  i-est [Colloq.]  1. Opposite of sexy  2. Gaudiness and ugliness related to amateur radio equipment or operators. 3. noun, proper An online journal of amateur radio fashion and folly.
 
Hmm... I liked that last one.  "An online journal of amateur radio fashion and folly"
 
And just when the world was starting to think hams weren't fashion conscious!

Thanks for the submissions! See you all next time - hopefully Clyde'll be back by then.

Saturday, May 222nd 2004
Posted by: Webmaster Bryan

Hey folks.... Its Bryan here. I very seldom write stuff here, but both Clyde and Purple are off this weekend, so I thought I'd rear my ugly head and say hi to the masses.

I want to personally thank everyone who's contributed to the site so far.... we're almost a month old, and our response in the Ham Radio community has been extraordinary. Its nothing that Seth, myself, Clyde or PZ do - its all of you who send us letters and cards every day. Thanks!

I don't really have a whole lot to say - I'll leave the profound pronouncements to those who are capable of doing so. Here's a letter we got from Mark regarding the letter right below this one:

"Like most EMTs, we can't stand ARES people."

I am happy to report that this is not true for our area.  ARES and EMTs get on pretty well here.  We have found that respect is earned not granted.  My apologies for the ARES members that are not only getting in your way, but are badly tarnishing our image.
 
Now as far as cameramen, we are on the same page.  Some, not all, are a pain and think they have some kind of authority.  I actually had one tell me he had jurisdiction over the roadway while a parade was going on.  All he had was a big camera.
 
At least the ARES folks have an agenda that purports to help people in need, whereas the news media is there to exploit them.

Mark's exactly correct - respect is earned, not expected. I don't exactly agree with his take on ENG shooters (I lugged a Betacam on my shoulder early in my career), but I can see where the line has been drawn. As with ARES, as with ENG guys, as with raifans, as wth Ham Radio - there's always going to be the lunatic fringe. There's always going to be the assholes - its a a truth of life.

And, just for you guys - here's a little something I whipped up in photoshop just for you - the fans. God bless, my friends.

Friday, May 21st 2004
Posted by: The Purplest of Zeros

Like most EMTs, we can't stand ARES people. Next on that list are TV news Cameramen. I remember one accident I got called out to five years ago. The firefighters had just extracated the poor woman from the wreck (her 4 year old daugter had just been taken away in the previous ambulance (she was fine)). My partner was in the cab on the radio finding out where to take the woman, when I noticed I had forgotten one of my kit bags back at the wreck. So I hop out of the rig to scramble down an embankment to get the bag. I return to find a shooter for a local news station SITTING in my ambulance, trying to interview the poor, bleeding, broken woman about her accident and her daughter. I got in the side door and calmly bodychecked him out the back. He fell in his ass and started screaming at me for touching him, and that he woud have my job, etc he also landed on his scanner, which was in five pieces in the gravel. I tossed him a roll of gauze and slammed the door.

The next day, my supervisor came up to me and told me that he had recieved a complaint regarding me physically assaulting a cameraman at an accident scene. Before I could explain, he told me that the fire Captain had phoned him the night of the incident and told him exactly what happened (the shooter had snuck past police and hopped into my bus right after I had left to get my bag). My boss then got on the phone with the police chief, fire chief and even the Mayor and told them of the situation. When the shooter's boss called my boss that morning, he was told he would look into it. The next day the TV station got letters from the Fire Department, Police Department, My agency and the Mayor's office. The shooter was immediatley fired (with no objections from the Union) and, form what I hear, is currently working at a gun store.

Nice work on the site. Always willing to laugh at other people's lack of intelligence, hygene, social skills or what have you.

Just a quick note on the matter of 'young' hams being alienated by older guys. A couple of my friends have been hams for a while now (we're all under 30...some of us WELL under 30) and some have been pressuring me to get my ticket. Well, being an individualist (or just uninclined to do what other people say) I've never written the test. I work pretty hard at a TV
station, so any free time I do get is used up working on demo tapes, spending time with my friends and family and my OTHER HOBBIES, even if it is just sitting, drinking beer and watching hockey.

Scanners and two-way radios (less so for the 2-ways) are crucial to my job, and the ham knowledge would be, in my opinion, handy, but why should I have to write an exam,
then? Can't I just learn it on my own for my own sake?

The bottom line is this: why become a ham? You wouldn't do it for the social scene, that's for sure. If you happen to go to a hamfest as a non-licensed dude, such as myself, and have a job that is reasonably 'cool' and 'technical' as I do (I really could actually be cleaning out the shitter here, how would they know?) I'm the friggin' hit of the party anyway. Anyone who dismisses me because I don't have a ticket isn't the type of person I care to hear the opinions of anyway.

I wouldn't do it to be a part of ARES or any backup emergency crap because if something crashes, burns down and people are dead I usually end up being called into work! I have NO TIME to volunteer to get in the way of people doing their jobs saving lives and so forth.

Personally, if I never have to see another head-on collision I'd be a happy camper. And, I wouldn't do it to meet new people. I meet new people every day and generally feel all the stupider for it having happened. See? Stupider! I doubt the outlook would change much if I was BSing about myself and the traffic on some repeater rather than half-heartedly patronizing a toothless gluebag who is wondering where the hot reporter I work with is. (For those of you who are wondering, I keep her stored in a climate-controlled pine box
in the back seat with a padlock on it.)

My ham friends are good guys and they are doing it for their own reasons. My only reason to get that ticket would be so I can buy a digital scanner up here. Oh wait! I've GOT a digital scanner. Hmmm...

Thursday, May 20th 2004
Posted by: The Purplest of Zeros

Some more Dayton photos for your approval - courtesy of the Batlabs Northeast Enforcement Division


Redneck Radio Shop

Why need a shirt when you've got nature's ARES vest

Nothing I can write could possibly add to this.



I was thinking Gerbil myself.....

Two things about this photo tickle me... 1) Blue amber
lightbar on what appears to be a personal vehicle
2) The Maratracs posing as tent pegs. What a bunch of
lame, poseur wannabees!!!!!!!!!

In addition to the photos, here's some reader mail from the lovely Tami. She's right on the mark... I see many people (especially on places like QRZ and specifically Batlabs) who have nothing else better to do but play the role of radio police (they call themselves "Kilocycle Cops")... Take it away, Tami...

I've been itching to e-mail y'all about the crazed hams in my town, and as of today finally have a reason.
 
Most hams are harmless. Hell, my fiancee is a ham, as is a few of his friends. These are cool guys who aren't covered in those stupid radio packs or anything - just normal, who happen to have an interest in amateur radio. Cool deal.
 
However, the others are driving me mad.
 
I am a traffic flagger - one of the chicks that is paid to stand in the road clad in a yellow vest and holding a stop sign, telling people where to go. I have a certification that I paid good money for and everything. However, the hams here take it upon themselves to police the road construction jobs for people who are on the "wrong" radio channels (We use GRMS! Like every other person that goes to Walmart and buys a damn two way radio!) Our crew spent an entire week with one of these fools on our radios, asking where the pilot car was, which way the traffic was heading, etc. Flaggers actually need to talk to each other, and these guys were making it impossible!
 
Not only are they a pain at work, but also in everyday life. I live in a small town, where the old guys in vest with mag mount amber lights on the rooves of their POS sedans at every possible opportunity. They came out and basically bullied their way into doing the traffic control for any major incident that happens in town.
 
My fiancee won't even put a radio in his truck now, at least not until we leave for California, where the hams aren't as ridiculous, because he doen't want to be associated with these fools.
 
I'll be sure to have a camera handy next time I come upon something happening in this sleepy little town, and get you some pictures of the HamSexiest bitches on the west coast.
 
Keep up the good work!

Articles older than this one are in the archives... Click on the week number on the grey menu bar to access!!